How Do You Know When Your Relationship Is Over? No More Sugar Coating Vlog

How do you know when your relationship is over? I’m going to start with this one, How do you know when your relationship is over? When it stops being fun. Most people what they’ll do is they’ll go, “Okay, it stopped being fun, my relationships over, I need to end it. That’s a conclusion.

How do you know when your relationship is over? I’m going to start with this one, How do you know when your relationship is over? When it stops being fun. Most people what they’ll do is they’ll go, “Okay, it stopped being fun, my relationships over, I need to end it. That’s a conclusion.

As soon as you go to that, you’ve already ended your relationship. If your relationship is over you can still look at, “Okay, would I like to make this work?” “Is there something we can change here and start creating it again?” And if you’re done with the relationship. you’re going to know you’re done with the relationship. Ask yourself and go, “Okay, would I like to start creating this relationship again or have I already left it?” If you’ve already left it, then leave it You know when it’s over just look at, “Okay, what do I want to choose next?” In doing that you’ll start getting honest with yourself and you’ll start looking at how you would like your future to look with it.

Just because you think something’s over doesn’t mean it needs to end, you can change, you can make a different choice. – What do you mean by that? Well, let’s say you lose all your money, does that mean you never have money anymore? Or does it mean you have to make more money? Same as relationship, if your relationship is done, are you finished with it or has it got to a place where it needs to change?

Has it gotten to a place where it needs to change and in changing it, what do you need to change? Is it you need to start creating together again or you need to start talking about things again or you’re just done? And if you’re done, you’re done. Go and find something else fun to do.

I think you’ve actually got to be really willing to have a look at the energy of how you are when you create together and then you’ll start to notice these moments when the relationship starts to be maintaining instead of actually creating. If it’s maintaining it’s got this energy of a little bit of boredom to it and you don’t have as much value to the other person anymore. And if that person doesn’t have as much value to you then you don’t have to make it wrong. This is the one thing I see so many people go, “Now we have to fight, now we have to do trauma and drama to break up.” Or as a friend of mine said, “Now we have to have a baby.” Don’t have a baby, that’s not what you have to do. So, you know the energy, you know the energy when you’re like, “Yes, this is awesome” And you wake up and you see that person you’re like, “Yay!” A recent relationship that I was in, for years, one of my favorite things was jumping in bed together and not necessarily for the copulation just for the energy of having that person near me.

And then if you notice that you love, you know, being a star in bed and not actually having that person there then things may have changed. But again please, this doesn’t have to be about going against someone else. This is not choosing against something when the relationship is no longer working.

What if you could get a bottle of champagne, because I think you need a bottle, and then just say, “You know what, what if we have done together what we were meant to do and what if there was a place that we could move on and create something different, create something different.” So, I always say, “You know we’re not penguins, we don’t have to mate for life.” What if you had a great relationship for however long you choose that. I mean to me a great relationship is not, “They’ve been married 54 years…” It’s like some of them might be great but just because it’s a length of time doesn’t make it great. Someone could have a great relationship for 10 months, some could have a great relationship for 10 years.

It’s just a choice. I just really want to reiterate, you’ll know! You’ll know that energy when you’re just like, “Oh, I think I’m done.” And ask, “Okay, so truth is this actually working for me today?” I get that Brendon and I had a great relationship. I’m going to say like seven, seven and a half years. – Yeah.

We were actually in relationship for eight years. But for about seven and a half years, I think we had a great relationship. We used all the Access Consciousness tools, we had a lot of fun and we created a hell of a lot together. And then we started getting a little normal. – Yeah, that’s a really good description actually. It started getting normal and can I say I know that I started to come from the place of, “Oh, we’ve got the right relationship.” If you think you have the right relationship, you’ve just killed it.

And most people what they do when they get into relationship is they say, “Okay, now I have a relationship.” You don’t, you have to keep creating that relationship every day or it’s just a maintenance. So, relationship should be creationship. – Exactly! Yes! – I don’t know what else what to say. What did you ask again? – How did you know?

It like you knew …you said 7 and a half years Okay, I’m going to say, in hindsight, it’s like I knew there was moments when we were in this great relationship that I could even tell when Brendon walked into a room and the way he looked at me or the way he was just like, “Yes!” Like excited to see me. And then in hindsight, I can see that you know then it became not that. It’s like there’s moments where it was sort of like, not like, “Oh…” I know he still likes me. – Yeah. I mean, we bought this block of land and we started planning this house.

The relationship turned into this future thing, where we were going, “Okay, now we’re going to be together.” We didn’t buy the rocking chairs but we were going down that path. I know for both of us, that as soon as you put me in a rocking chair, I’m going to fucking jump out of that rocking chair and run. So, we did. And there’s been some really rocky moments as well and there’s been different emotions and things like that that have been going on that we invent.

There’s places that I’ve been super angry about stuff but I’ve also allowed myself to be really angry because why not? And I sort of got bored with all of that and I was just like, “You know what, it’s really hard not to have Brendon as my friend. It’s really hard not to have someone that is that creative in my life to create with. I mean we work together as well so I looked at it and went, “Okay, so I would like a greater future, what does that entail?” Excluding from Brendon and creating separation? – No!

So, what are you going to choose? Anything else to add? – No. No More Sugar Coating A very different Q&A VLOG about doing Relationships Different

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