3 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive for Long Distance Relationships | Relationship Advice by Mat Boggs

So how do you keep the spark alive when you’re in a relationship and it’s long distance? How do you feel connected when you’re apart like that? I actually did a video a while back that highlighted some of the strategies that I use in long distance relationships and that I coach people with. I’m actually the king, or was the king, of long distance relationships before I got married, and so I’ve had a bunch of comments and people saying, “Hey, what are some extra things I can do?

What are some extra strategies to help stay connected and keep that spark alive?” So in this video, I’m going to share with you three things that you can do to keep the spark alive when you’re long distance. Now, a while back, I recorded a video on long distance relationships that gives three pillars, really solid strategies for staying connected. And in this video, we’re going to take it a little bit deeper. So strategy number one is to share your world with your man. Here’s what I mean.

We are blessed to live in an era where most of us have FaceTime on our phones or video chatting capability, whether it’s messenger or Skype, and so it’s a unique opportunity to not only see each other, but actually share experiences together. Here’s what I mean. It’s one thing to just talk at home with one another on FaceTime. It’s a whole nother thing to actually co-create experiences. Let me give you a couple of examples.

For example, you guys could go and do a picnic together each in your own location, so you pick a cool location that you want to go, bring some wine or some drinks, some snacks, some food. They take you to their location and then you do FaceTime together with your special somebody. You’re like, “Hey babe, what’s up?” And you lean back and you chat with them.

You show them your location. They show you theirs. It’s a cool way to bond in a unique way, bringing them into your world. You could even share a sunset together. You go to your location, he goes to his.

You each share the sunset. You show it to each other on your phones, and it’s way more activated. It’s way more engaged. It’s way less passive than just sitting back and chatting with one another on the phone. So think of what kind of experiences could you co-create with your man and share your world through FaceTime.

Number two is creating richer conversations. It’s really easy in a long distance relationship to have the conversations get monotonous or both of you basically just give a recap of your day and what happened. And so I’ll share with you a little technique that I learned that really got to the heart or the meat of what really mattered for somebody that day, and it was share with me your highs and your lows. Like what’s your high and your low for today?

So as you’re going through all the experiences of your day, what was the high for you and what was the low for you? Sharing the things that brought you a lot of pleasure or the dreams that you’re creating and also the pain that you’re experiencing is a way to go deeper with your partner. So practice this with your partner. Get in the of sharing your highs and your lows with one another, and you’ll find that the conversation has a tendency to go deeper and be more connected.

Strategy number three, and you might blush a little bit with this one, but that’s okay, is you create virtual sexual experiences with your partner. You’ve got the talking that you’re doing that you’re connecting, you’ve got activities that you’re doing and connecting through, and now you’re connecting through your sexual energy as well. Because let’s be honest, when you’re apart, you’ve got all that sexual energy.

So how do you keep the spark alive when you’re in a relationship and it’s long distance? How do you feel connected when you’re apart like that? I actually did a video a while back that highlighted some of the strategies that I use in long distance relationships and that I coach people with. I’m actually the king, or was the king, of long distance relationships before I got married, and so I’ve had a bunch of comments and people saying, “Hey, what are some extra things I can do?

What are some extra strategies to help stay connected and keep that spark alive?” So in this video, I’m going to share with you three things that you can do to keep the spark alive when you’re long distance. Now, a while back, I recorded a video on long distance relationships that gives three pillars, really solid strategies for staying connected. And in this video, we’re going to take it a little bit deeper. So strategy number one is to share your world with your man. Here’s what I mean.

We are blessed to live in an era where most of us have FaceTime on our phones or video chatting capability, whether it’s messenger or Skype, and so it’s a unique opportunity to not only see each other, but actually share experiences together. Here’s what I mean. It’s one thing to just talk at home with one another on FaceTime. It’s a whole nother thing to actually co-create experiences. Let me give you a couple of examples.

For example, you guys could go and do a picnic together each in your own location, so you pick a cool location that you want to go, bring some wine or some drinks, some snacks, some food. They take you to their location and then you do FaceTime together with your special somebody. You’re like, “Hey babe, what’s up?” And you lean back and you chat with them.

You show them your location. They show you theirs. It’s a cool way to bond in a unique way, bringing them into your world. You could even share a sunset together. You go to your location, he goes to his.

You each share the sunset. You show it to each other on your phones, and it’s way more activated. It’s way more engaged. It’s way less passive than just sitting back and chatting with one another on the phone. So think of what kind of experiences could you co-create with your man and share your world through FaceTime.

Number two is creating richer conversations. It’s really easy in a long distance relationship to have the conversations get monotonous or both of you basically just give a recap of your day and what happened. And so I’ll share with you a little technique that I learned that really got to the heart or the meat of what really mattered for somebody that day, and it was share with me your highs and your lows. Like what’s your high and your low for today?

So as you’re going through all the experiences of your day, what was the high for you and what was the low for you? Sharing the things that brought you a lot of pleasure or the dreams that you’re creating and also the pain that you’re experiencing is a way to go deeper with your partner. So practice this with your partner. Get in the of sharing your highs and your lows with one another, and you’ll find that the conversation has a tendency to go deeper and be more connected.

Strategy number three, and you might blush a little bit with this one, but that’s okay, is you create virtual sexual experiences with your partner. You’ve got the talking that you’re doing that you’re connecting, you’ve got activities that you’re doing and connecting through, and now you’re connecting through your sexual energy as well. Because let’s be honest, when you’re apart, you’ve got all that sexual energy.

It’s building up, and so you’ve got a choice. You can either release it on your own privately. I hope you’re not releasing it with anybody else, of course, because that would be cheating. Or you could release it together, and it creates a level of … There needs to be a level of trust, which requires that you create a level of intimacy and connection with him to be able to do this.

It’s whether you are going to talk dirty to one another, whether you’re going to sext with one another, or whether you’re going to do some video time, which is like the bold move on this as well. But I want to challenge you to open up that possibility for yourself to say, “Hey, what if we could enhance the sexual experience that we have even while we’re apart? And what would that look like?” And have an open safe conversation with your partner of what their fantasy would be, what would really turn them on, and you share what would really turn you on. There might be moments where you’re giggling and laughing and it’s a bit uncomfortable, but you’ll find as you work through that, that it actually becomes a really, really powerful experience and an amazing way to connect when you’re long distance.

So there you have it, three ways to connect when you’re long distance to take the relationship and the connection even deeper. I hope you’ve enjoyed this, and I want to ask your opinion. What are ways that you have found to take the relationship deeper when you’re long distance? You’re part of an amazing community here of women who are dedicated to increasing love in the world, so I think you’ll find some brilliant answers written down below, and I would love to hear your answer as well.

So what strategies have you found to take the connection even deeper? Thanks so much for watching. I’ll see you soon.

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